


Kindred Spirit

by CreativelyDestructive (orphan_account)



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kindred Spirits, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Movie Spoilers, Sexual Tension, Soulmates, Unrequited Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:24:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2157300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/CreativelyDestructive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim Kirk doesn't believe in love but his philosophy on the matter is thrown out the window when Spock walks down the stairs at his hearing. Of course his accuser is not only a Vulcan instructor but also happens to be drop dead gorgeous. Jim doesn't believe in no win situations and he's not going to start now. Spock is a kindred spirit and going to be Jim's no matter what it takes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**_"_ ** **_The first time I kissed you. One kiss, I was totally hooked. Addicted to you."_ **

I would be the first person to say that love is a sham. It's a manipulation tool to con people into committing to one person. Scientifically love is merely an excessive amount of dopamine being released in the brain. This leads people to think that they're in love with whoever makes them especially happy. High stress and adrenaline inducing situations have a similar effect. I've been told that I just don't understand love, but what I don't get is people in love. They're crazy.

My best friend Bones was in love with some little skank who left him with nothing but the shirt off his back. Even took away his precious baby girl Joanna. If Bones didn't believe love was a sham before he sure does now. While he stews over his bitch ex-wife at the bar I'm hooking up with the hottest female, male, or alien there. I won't get tricked into the idea of love because I don't take any sexual encounter seriously. It's fun, exciting, and completely meaningless. Bones is probably the most stable relationship I have, and this is because we both get it.

Maybe love is something you learn through exposure. At least then it would make sense why I don't believe in it. Bones has Joanna and me. I have him. Everyone knows the heroic tragedy that is my father George Kirk. Saved 800 people, including my mom and me, by sacrificing his life. So no dad. Winona shipped off planet as far and as fast as she could, and only came around every now and then. So no mom. Sam took off as soon as he was old enough leaving me behind with Frank. So no brother. Frank, my waste of space uncle, was a drunk fuck. Ironically he was the only family member who didn't leave me.

Being the son of a hero wasn't as great as it was made out to be. No one saw me, but the ghost of the man I never knew. I know that's why Winona never stuck around. I look a lot like my father I guess. Sam blamed me for his dad's death like it was my fault it happened. Frank just was pissed off he got stuck with me before and after my little "vacation" of planet. Tarsus was a real treat that did nothing for me when it came to family or the delusion of love. Winona stayed with me for about a month before everything went back to the typical. I was never the same after that. I retreated into myself deciding that if life was going to fuck me over then at least I was going to make it my bitch while it does.

When Pike scraped me off the bar floor I thought he was crazy. What the hell would I want to do with Starfleet? As much as I hate to admit it he got me thinking. Despite my devil may care attitude and small town hick façade I had potential. A certified genius who didn't believe in no win situations. Passionate and crazy as hell, but managed to make life bend to my will. I was already making life my bitch I might as well throw Starfleet in and make it a threesome. I had a lot to offer Starfleet, and it could get me off this rock. I was born in space, and figured might as well die there. At least then it would be worth wild and epic.

I took up his offer, and even though he didn't take my declaration seriously I was. Starfleet was a means to an end. I would graduate the command track in 3 years, and move through the ranks fast. I'll get my own ship and explore space to my heart's content. No one would compare me to George Kirk then. Winona would finally accept I'm her son, and I would tell her to shove it along with Sam and Frank. Yeah, that would be the day.

Everything was going perfectly to plan. Along the way I found Bones and we became fast friends. Like I said before we both get it. We aren't naïve. We know life doesn't play fair, and it never will. His sarcasm and gruff exterior was like a breath of fresh air. He was a kindred spirit, and if I had to deal with Starfleet then he was going to have to suffer through it with me. He did. Complained the entire time, but always had my back when push came to shove. And with a smart mouth like mine it often did. I had my own bed in the hospital wing with all the fights I'd get in. Bones was my roommate, best friend, and doctor all rolled into a grumpy package.

Like I expected I breezed through the academy with cocky ambition and quick wit. My third year I was on top of the world until I hit a snag known as the Kobayashi Maru. The unbeatable test. I failed it twice before I caught on to what it really was. A cheat. And how do you beat a cheat? By cheating better. I ran a subroutine into the server that would change the parameters of the test. The only thing I did was make the test actually winnable, but left everything else basically the same. I don't believe in no win situations so I approached this stupid test the same way, and you know what it got me? A hearing. Okay, so I knew I was probably going to get in trouble, but I think they took it way too seriously.

I was ready to hate my accuser on sight and really shove it to him because if he thinks I was just going to lay down and take it then obviously he hasn't heard about me. When he stood up and walked down the stairs two things came to mind. 1) The Kobayashi Maru totally made sense now that I knew a Vulcan designed it, and then 2) he was the most gorgeous pointy eared bastard I have ever seen. With my motto being there's no such thing as no win situations it's clear that I have control issues. This relates to my sexuality because I'm strictly a top, but as I studied the beauty staring down at me with those deep brown eyes I figured I'd make an exception for him. Well, if he wasn't trying to expel me.

He made a lot of good points in his own logical way. He was overall very calm and calculated, but then he made a mistake. He brought up my father. Bringing up his death wasn't upsetting as one would expect it to be. I mean I didn't know him besides stories I've heard from other people. My family never talked about him so most of the things I know about him comes from articles about him, and you can never believe the media. No, his mistake was the condescending tone he used when speaking to me about him. Like most people he thinks because he knows a bit about the circumstances of my father's death he knows me.

Fear in the certain face of death. I didn't look away because I was hurt by his words. I looked away because I was remembering when I won every supposed no win situation life threw at me. Frank's abuse. Winona's abandonment. Sam's betrayal. Tarsus' famine. I almost wanted to laugh at the beautiful Vulcan in front of me that thought he scared me. Fear wasn't in my vocabulary. I was about to tell him as such when the Vulcan distress call came in. That point everything changed.

Bones being the sneaky and loyal bastard he is snuck me onto the Enterprise. Once hearing the mission I connected it to what happened over two decades ago on the day of my birth. Racing to the bridge I figured getting sent to the brig would be better than getting blown up. Captain Pike was of course suspicious of me, but willing to listen until that annoying Commander of his stepped up. I gritted my teeth and refused to back down no matter what. I almost rolled my eyes when he finally relented because Uhura stepped in to back me up. Of course he would be into her. She's gorgeous, brilliant, and has a matching stick up her ass. Then again maybe he needs a good lay to get over his frustrating superiority complex.

As much as he infuriated me to no end when I saw his hand reaching out to nothing with that heartbroken expression my heart bled for him. I understood loss and pain and anger, but something I couldn't relate with him was the love. It was clear that he loved his mom, and because of that love for her the loss was so much worse. I wanted to say something, anything, to him, but what can I say when I don't understand his kind of loss. I would only make it worse and he already can't stand me.

His disdain for me didn't make being his first officer any easier, and if he didn't boot me off the ship I probably would have end up in the brig for mutiny. He has logic and brains (along with long legs that lead up to an amazing ass), but he doesn't have instinct, not like me. I know that he's doing the wrong thing by going to get a confab. We need to go after Nero, get Captain Pike, and kick serious ass. But no he dumped me on this ice cube full of vicious creatures that want a Kirk snack. Seriously fuck that.

Meeting alternate reality Spock was quite the experience. For one it's a relief to know that Spock won't always be such an uptight asshole. On the other hand I don't know how I feel about this whole defining friendship thing. I already have all the friends I need. Bones. However, I do like the Captain Kirk/Commander Spock dynamic a lot more than the shitty one we have going on now. We sound extremely badass.

I'm an asshole. Everyone knows it. But emotionally compromising Spock didn't sit well with me and it never will. What I said was inexcusable no matter the circumstance. Seeing the pain and anger in his eyes was killing me. I've said some pretty shitty things to people and never batted an eye, but this was absolute torture. I've fought my way through most of Iowa and survived on Tarsus. I could have defended myself, but I didn't want to. I deserved every blow he gave me. Sure I was a bit afraid he really was going to kill me, but somewhere deep down I had a feeling he wouldn't. As I stared into his bottomless brown eyes as he strangled me I saw hurt behind the more dominant fury. When he let go of me, it's hard to explain, but I felt his regret and horror at his actions.

When I took command it didn't feel right. I knew I was meant to be captain, even before meeting old Spock, but getting command like this wasn't honorable. I had to command these people, people that were my peers, who didn't respect my intellect back at the academy, and definitely didn't respect or believe in me now. Uhura clearly hated my guts even more, and I didn't miss the uncertainty in Bones' eyes. Overall the situation wasn't reassuring, but I knew who I was and what I had to do, and like most things I just went with it.

I never anticipated for Spock to come back, and I definitely didn't expect him to work with me. When he stared me down with a resolute expression I saw who he really was. He was more than a stuffy instructor. More than a Vulcan/Human hybrid. He was a nomad explorer with a need to be recognized for the fiery genius he is. Someone who faced a lifetime of pain, and still wouldn't back down. He was a kindred spirit. My kindred spirit. In that moment of revelation I saw a future of us exploring worlds unknown going on endless adventures as the dynamic duo the old man was talking about. Just like that it made sense.

This belief was further encouraged when we boarded Nero's ship and worked perfectly in sync. Like two puzzle pieces fitting perfectly together. He had my back and I had his. The trust we had in each other was incredible if not unbelievable considering where we were at not even a half hour before. When we boarded the alternate Spock's ship this Spock called me Jim. My name isn't special or anything, but I couldn't get over how amazing it sounded coming out of his mouth. It gave me chills in the best possible way. I wanted him to say it again and again. My mood immediately dampened when he brought up Uhura which confused me to no end. Why would I care about them together?

Regardless of my unclear feelings I interrupted whatever he was going to say and assured him it was going to work despite his low calculation. Boy was I cocky when it really did work. That'll show him to mess with me. No win situations my ass. Truthfully, I didn't want to offer Nero mercy, not when he was the reason for both my and Spock's pain. However, I found the will and then Spock goes and surprises me with his less than merciful approach. Maybe we're rubbing off on each other. Sitting in the captain's chair felt much better when he was by my side. I figured I could get used to it, but then reality set in. My reality.

Spock was going to leave Starfleet in favor of going to the Vulcan Colony to help in his people's efforts. There wasn't going to be future adventures together. He has his path and I had mine. Separate paths. There wasn't going to be a dynamic duo. I don't believe in fate any more than I believe in love so I didn't understand why it was hurting me so much. Why the old man's allusion to the future we could have meant so much to me. It was all driving me crazy.

When we got back to earth we were welcomed as heroes, but I didn't feel heroic or like celebrating. Almost an entire race of people were wiped out. Spock's mother was gone. It just didn't feel right. We barely spoke on the trip back to earth, and didn't talk after we landed. Once more I became the punk kid that cheated on his test. It was painful so I did the thing I'm good at. I went to a bar got drunk and had a series of meaningless fucks. All weekend I tried to get him out of my head, but no matter how many drinks or lays I had he always crept his way back. Fucker.

When I was granted the Enterprise and saw the crew registry I realized that history was righting itself. There would be Bones as my CMO, Sulu as my pilot, Chekov as my navigator, Uhura as my communications officer, but no Spock. As I predicted he didn't sign back on, and rumor had it that he was going to New Vulcan. Like so many times before this decision of his just didn't sit right with me. I tried to get over it and looked for another science and first officer, but everyone was wrong. No one was perfect. Spock was the only one. I needed him. As my first officer I mean.

So instead of letting him make a huge mistake that he and I will both regret I went to see him. He was staying at the embassy a little ways from the academy. It was a huge spur of the moment decision. One minute I was back at my apartment looking through the crew, and the next minute I was on my way out. I was in the elevator by the time I came out of autopilot, and it was already too late to turn back. And that is exactly how I got here. Standing in front of his door trying not to pussy my out of knocking.

"Jim."

I resist the urge to jump out of my skin, and nonchalantly turn to my right to see the reason why I'm here staring at me blankly. Well, blankly besides the minute surprise and curiosity shining in his deep brown eyes. He's wearing long black robes with silver trimming, and it contrasts with his pale skin drastically. I bite the inside of my cheek so I don't drool over how beautifully sexy he looks.

"Spock," I finally say after a moment, but it comes out broken and chalky. I take a deep breath clearing my throat and try again while wondering why I'm suddenly nervous. "Spock, I need to talk to you."

He tilts his head wearing a calculated expression, and I refuse to shift under the intensity of his gaze. He nods his head and moves pass me unlocking the door I was standing in front of. He motions me to enter first, and I walk in while curiously looking around. The walls are a light tan while the carpet and furnishing are a darker brown.

The room is Spartan, but then I'm reminded that he doesn't live here. He probably lives either in the instructor quarters on campus or some apartment nearby. I turn my attention back to him when I hear the door quietly close. His gaze is still as intense as ever, and I notice how warm the room is. Sweat begins forming on the back of my neck only making me feel more nervous.

"What did you wish to say to me?" He questions after another awkward moment of silence. I look at him feeling my mouth suddenly dry up.

"I'm sorry!" I blurt out before my brain can catch up with my mouth. "I'm so sorry Spock. I never meant a word I said to you on the bridge. I know you loved your mom! What I said was inexcusable, and I don't blame you for pummeling me. I deserved it—"

"Jim," Spock interrupts only raising his voice a little louder than his usual monotone. I stop long enough to realize what I was saying, and look down flushing embarrassed. "I…forgive you. I too am sorry for what occurred on the bridge," he continues taking me by surprise.

"Spock, don't be sorry. I deserved it. I provoked you—"

"My violent outburst was unbecoming of a Vulcan and a Starfleet officer," Spock once more cuts in his voice softer than usual.

We fall into a silence that is neither awkward nor comfortable. I glance up at him to find him looking away with a light green flush to the tips of his ears. I bite my lip before I can blurt out how endearing I think that is. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm getting all gushy about this guy. Man up Kirk I silently berate myself. I take a deep breath drawing his attention back to me, and I resist the urge to blush under his gaze.

"You don't hate me?" I question meekly and instantly run a hand through my hair in frustration. What the hell is wrong with me? I came here to find out why he won't be my first officer, not to talk about feelings. Jeez, I must be a masochist to think I'm about to heart to heart with a half Vulcan.

"Hate is an emotion…but no. I do not hate you," Spock answers his eyes widening slightly at the implication.

"Oh, that's good," I reply relieved despite my embarrassment for asking in the first place. "Then why won't you be my first officer?" I ask finally getting to the point of my visit.

"I have a duty to my people," he says firmly as if reminding himself.

"Is that what you really want to do?" I retort while crossing my arms getting braver with him. His lips twitch downward before pressing together in a firm line.

"What I want is inconsequential," he murmurs before turning away trying to hide his confliction.

"What is it you want Spock?" I question my voice lower than I meant it to be. My voice dripping with sexual undertones whether I want it to or not. I walk over to him stopping just behind him, and hesitantly place a hand on his broad shoulder. He tenses under my touch before slowly relaxing.

"My elder self—"

"What?" I demand shocked causing Spock to look over his shoulder at me. I blink confused before scowling slightly. "He told me you couldn't know about him otherwise the universe would implode or some shit," I whine immaturely.

"He implied and regrets his need to deceive you. He informed me earlier this week that I…I should do what feels right," Spock patiently explain catching my curiosity. I carefully turn him so he's facing me head on. I remember his strength so I know he can overpower me if he wants to so his compliance encourages me to continue.

"Spock, come with me. Be my first officer. I may not know you, but I know a fellow explorer when I see one. You belong by my side in space," I claim while determinedly meeting his gaze unwaveringly.

Despite my attempt to keep it professional my willpower deplete, and I can't help but glance at his lips. They look extremely soft. I wonder what he tastes like. Up close he's even more stunning. His features are sharp, but his eyes are expressive and soft. His shoulders are broad and lead down into narrow hips and legs that go on for days. My eyes find their way back to his, and I recognize the emotion burning in them. Desire.

"This discussion is illogical. I will not be your first officer—"

I take a calculated risk and slam my lips on his successfully shutting him up. That's a win in itself. His whole body tenses dangerously, and I pull away my breath catching in my throat. His eyes are darker than I've ever seen them so I take a small step back. His eyes close in on that moment, and before I can even think about retreating he lashes out. I flinch as he reaches for my neck, but instead of strangling me his hand cups the back of my neck pulling me back towards him.

His lips descend on mine in a vicious manner that makes me whimper under his pleasurably painful assault. I quickly kiss him back one hand gripping his robe while the other runs through his hair messing it up. His hand slides up to my hair, and pulls roughly causing my head to jerk back slightly. I moan as he takes full advantage of the new angle by deepening the kiss. I nip his bottom lip earning a low growl from him. I roll my hips against his causing him to gasp quietly. I take the opportunity to invade his hot mouth. His tongue is rougher than mine, but the friction is amazing. I feel myself harden at the thought of his delectable mouth around my cock.

He pushes me back his mouth following mine until I'm pressed against the nearest wall. His presses himself against me, and I can feel his erection digging into my thigh. I moan grinding my hips into his wantonly making him growl once more, and I don't think I've heard anything sexier. His mouth leaves mine as he trails fiery kisses down my neck nipping my sensitive skin mercilessly. My hands greedily explore his body worshipping every crevice, and I manage to strip him of his robe leaving him in a black undershirt and black slacks.

I push him away breathing hard and he looks at me breathing just as hard. I drop down to my knees and reach out for his pants. He braces his hands on the wall behind him looking completely debauched. I make quick work of his pants and briefs, and stare in curious amazement at his green tinged cock. I gently grip the base smirking when a shudder runs through him. I lean forward licking the precum from the tip causing his cock to twitch in my hand. I lick my lips savoring the flavor; he tastes more sweet than salty. Without further ado I take him into my mouth taking pleasure in the way wanton moans and gasps his escape his mouth.

I relax my throat as his hips begin to buck. I hollow my cheeks as he begins to fuck my mouth in earnest. I tightly grip his hips to steady myself, and he grunts as my nails dig into his skin leaving green imprints behind. With a loud guttural moan he releases himself into my mouth. I obediently swallow his essence, and then proceed to lick his deflating shaft clean. He looks down at me breathing hard, but then pulls me up kissing me hard. A low rumble emits from his chest as he tastes himself on me. It takes me a moment to realize it's a purr. He pulls away leaving me breathless, and drops to his knees to return the favor.

"Spock, you don't have to," I pant out as his hands undo my jeans without preamble.

"Jim, cease speaking unless it is my name," he replies before taking my cock into his hand stroking experimentally a few times.

"Fuck," I mumble my head resting against the wall behind me. "Spock," I moan and his lips twitch up slightly. Not a smile, closer to a smirk, but not yet there either.

Spock takes me into his mouth making me moan and buck my hips against my control. His hands grip my hips stilling me, and I groan under his tight hold. I just know that I'll have bruises after this. His tongue is rough and scratchy, but he definitely knows how to use it. His licks my slit teasingly making me whimper in anticipation. My breathing becomes laborious as he begins deep throating me. His name slips from my lips repeatedly as I encourage him on. My hands dig roughly in his hair pulling him closer, and he hums sending vibrations running up and down my cock.

Before I can warn him I'm coming hard, and fortunately he's holding up because my legs buckle weakly. He swallows greedily sucking harder milking me dry. A light sheen of sweat covers my body as he pulls always licking a drop he missed. I quickly yank him up forcing his lips back onto mine, and I find myself unexplainable proud when I taste myself on him. If I could purr I would be. With a few more languid kisses we finally pull away from each other breathing hard.

"Jim…Captain Kirk…I cannot go with you," he announces making me sigh tiredly. I knew it. I fucking knew this would happen. Well, maybe not the sexual twist this trip took.

"That's your choice. I just hope you don't regret it," I reply ignoring how much I hate his answer. I want him to come with me. I don't want him to leave to New Vulcan. He doesn't belong there.

He nods before fixing himself, and I do the same with myself. Once we're finished getting cleaned up he lets me out. He shuts the door looking more uncertain that I've ever seen him appear, and I can't help but feel disappointed. Not with the sexual encounter because there's no doubt that it was the best one I've had to date. Remarkable. Something I would readily repeat. Damn, I'll miss him the pointy eared bastard.

Fuck…I'll miss him…I shouldn't miss him. I barely know him. So what if he's a kindred spirit? So what if he's beyond beautiful? It shouldn't bother me this much. I shouldn't want to stick around and actually hang out with him. It shouldn't matter. What the hell happened? Why is he so different? He gave an amazing blowjob, and was a very enthusiastic recipient, but it's not a big deal. Fuck, why is it a big deal? I run a hand through my hair frustrated, but then stop in horrified realization.

I'm falling for him. What. The. Hell?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be done in Spock's point of view. Thank you.

**Disclaimer** : I own nothing…unfortunately

**_"I could never love anyone the way I love you."_ **

No amount of meditation has returned my control. There is a storm raging within myself, and I cannot reach a calm. I am conflicted in ways I never imagined I could be. Two differing paths are laid before me, and I cannot fathom which path is truly mine. I can follow my father to New Vulcan, and help in their efforts to rebuild. My elder counterpart told me to do what feels right, but I do not know what I feel. I know logically there is no choice. I should go to New Vulcan to help my people.

The human side of me all but demands that I return to the Enterprise. Return to James T. Kirk's side. That human is such an enigma. One moment he is cheating on my test and staring me down at the hearing with such arrogance. Next he is accusing me of never loving my mother, and dying as I strangle him. I can feel his regret and acceptance flooding me, and his relief as I release my hold on him. Then we are working together in perfect synchronization like we have done this before. It was nothing less than remarkable to have him battling by my side.

He brings out emotions that I have long tried to bury underneath my Vulcan teachings. First anger, a blinding fury, and then remorse, an unrelenting guilt. Both so strong and overwhelming, but nothing compared to lust and need he incites in me. He tore away my Vulcan stoicism leaving me feeling raw and vulnerable. From the moment I saw him I thought he was aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Incredibly so. His too blue eyes and fair colored hair is unique and rarely found on Vulcan. He has a plethora of addicting qualities.

I was genuinely surprised when Kirk showed up at my room. I had an idea what he was after. He wanted me to accept his invitation to be his first officer. It was tempting, but I have a duty to my people. I did not expect him to understand. He is unlike me in so many ways. He is a slave to his emotions in the same way I am a slave to logic. His choices dictated by gut instinct while mine are dictated by calculations.

Two opposing forces, and yet we are so alike. Kindred spirits one could say. His thirst for adventure rivals my own. I can see the painful past hidden behind those bright eyes of his. I wonder what plagued him as a child. Was he bullied? Outcaste by his very own people like I was? I can recall the day I chose my fate clearly even now years later. I was fully prepared to embrace my Vulcan half as whole, but then the elders insulted my mother. I rejected the admittance to the Vulcan Space Academy, and instead accepted Starfleet as my new route.

A decision dictated by emotions. I could not stay on Vulcan and expect to thrive under the conditions against me. I said goodbye to my parents and left for Starfleet. My father while outward showing no reaction made his opinion of my decision very clear. The familial bond we shared was all but torn apart as he blocked his side from me. My decision to leave Vulcan seen as an act of rebellion that brought shame upon him. My mother, regardless of what anyone thought, supported me in only a way a mother can. Frequent video calls were exchanged during my stay in San Francisco.

Starfleet was a way out for me. No longer did I have to be chained to a planet that only saw me as a hybrid. In short Starfleet was a means to an end. Here my thirst for adventure and need for scientific discovery could be sated. To explore new worlds and find new life forms was always my calling, but now everything has changed. Once again I am faced with a life altering decision. A decision from the past that reinvented itself in my present. Should I choose the obligation to my people or my calling to space as a whole?

Kirk is not making the decision to choose my people any easier. The moment his lips met mine in heated passion I knew he would destroy me. Under his greedy touch my Vulcan control crumbled and the more passionate nature of my ancestry rose to the surface. I wanted him. I wanted to claim him as mine and mine alone. I never felt that way about anyone previously. Even my brief romance with Nyota was nothing more than infatuation. She was brilliant and ambitious, but never once incited such emotion in me as Kirk did.

His mouth was wicked in more ways than one could imagine. Quick with retorts and skilled in the art of pleasure. He took advantage of my weakened state, but then I took advantage of him. He was so receptive and willing under my less than gentle touch. In the aftermath I was afraid I hurt him physically with being three times stronger than him. However, only when I gave him my answer did I see anything resembling hurt in his eyes.

After he left an uncomfortable confusion washed over me. Being a Vulcan I am accustomed to being able to meditate and reflect. Find my center on the day's events. I am not used to being so unsettled. With a flash of those too blue eyes and confident smirk James T. Kirk is able to rock me to my very core. I know it would only be a matter of time before I did whatever he asked of me whether logical or not. I have only known the man a matter of days and already he has my emotions heightened and control frayed. I need to be away from him.

"Spock."

I tear myself away from another useless mediation effort at the sound of my father's voice. He has joined me recently in mediating. I am unsure on whether these joint mediations are for his benefit or my own. I meet his neutral gaze hopefully with my own. The unsaid question hanging in the air between us.

"Yes Father?" I question after another moment of his silence.

"What plagues your mind son?" He asks his tone softer than normal, and I turn away from his suddenly piercing gaze.

He would not understand my confliction. He has always made his stance on who I should be very clear. I am the son of a Vulcan and human, but in his eyes I should only be the former. However, his opinion on the subject has changed considering…what has happened. I never understood how my mother, a human, so soft and loving could be married to my father, a Vulcan, so cold and detached. Both completely different, and yet come together to create me. A child of two worlds.

"I have decided to join you Father on New Vulcan," I announce while turning back to face him. His eyebrow lifts minutely as he processes this information. I wish to know what he thinks on the matter, but at the same time I am afraid of the answer.

"I will support whatever decision you make," he replies while studying me further. "However, I must express my regret for Captain Kirk's loss."

"Father?" I question trying to mask my confusion. What does he know of Kirk? What loss?

"I am aware that Captain Kirk is making a commotion about not having you, my son, as his first officer. If I may, why are you not returning to Starfleet?" He asks catching me by surprise. I feel myself tense and grow defensive.

"I know I am only half Vulcan in the eyes of—"

"You are entirely my son Spock," my father cuts in sounding angrier than I have ever heard him before. "You are a child of Vulcan, but also a child of Earth. It is only up to you where you wish to continue your journey. Regardless of your choice you will have a proud father."

Words catch in my throat as repeats the words Mother told me years ago before I made my choice to enter Starfleet. Does he know those were her precise words? Is he giving me his permission to return to the Enterprise? I watch blankly as my father rises form his mediation mat and makes his way out of the room to give me time to myself. I stare at the wall opposite of me while trying to piece everything together. When did my world stop making sense?

A knock on my door tears me away from my internal struggle and find solace in the distraction. I gracefully rise to my feet and walk over to the door opening it without checking. My eyes widen at the man standing in front of me. I take in his dark jeans and black tshirt while trying to come off as passive even though my heart is racing. Illogical.

"Spock, I know we've already talk about this, but I need you to understand. I need you. You're the only one who is going to be able to set me straight. Tell me when I'm being brilliant or just being reckless. Spock, please," Kirk implores vehemently.

"Captain Kirk, control yourself," I demand hypocritically as I feel my own control slipping away. His soft pink lips call to me as if needing my attention. Logically I know what he says is correct. He is a free spirit that needs someone more disciplined as his second. Who better than a Vulcan? Who more understanding of him than me? A kindred spirit.

"No, I will not control myself," he snaps using what I believe is sarcasm. "I know you want to come with me! Why won't you just do what you want for once?" He yells causing my father to leave his chambers to investigate the commotion Kirk is making.

"Captain Kirk," my father greets causing Kirk to stiffen marginally. His once furious expression morphs into one of solemn embarrassment. Fascinating.

"Ambassador Sarek," Kirk greets timorously while looking away his body tenser than I have ever seen him.

"What is your reason for visiting?" My father asks posing the question even though it must be obvious, even to a third party.

"I am here to try and convince Spock into returning to Starfleet," Kirk answers in his standard cocky demeanor.

"By doing this you ask him to turn his back on his people," my father retorts making Kirk frown. I resist the urge to smooth out the lines growing on his forehead.

"By asking him to stay you ask him to turn his back on who he is. With all due respect Ambassador your son is an explorer. His talent would be better suited at Starfleet," Kirk proclaims causing a light flush to reach my face. I force it down hoping neither of them witnessed my visual lapse of control.

"Is this true Spock?" My father questions while resting his neutral gaze on me. Kirk stares at me and it takes everything in me not to cave under his penetrating watch.

"Father, I have already made my decision to return to New Vulcan with you. What Captain Kirk has to say is irrelevant," I deflect making Kirk scowl angrily. I clasp my hands behind my back hiding the way they clench subtly.

"Bullshit," Kirk snaps making my eyes widen slightly.

"Excuse me Captain—"

"I said Bullshit, and call me Jim," Kirk retorts while crossing his arms. "You want to join me in space and you know it. You just have some misplaced idea of responsibility—"

"Are you implying that my people do not need help?" I demand while trying to hide my fury behind a mask of indifference.

"We both know how you feel about implications," Kirk replies alluding to my elder counterpart. I assume Kirk will never believe that "Vulcans do not lie" saying now. "Spock, please, listen to me—"

"I have heard enough," my father cuts in surprising us both. With Kirk in the room it is hard to focus on anyone else. His presence practically demands my attention.

"Ambassador, you don't understand—"

"No, I believe I understand perfectly. Spock, listen to what the young captain has to say. Unfortunately, I think this is a subject your mother would have been more equipped with dealing with. She was always more adept when it came to matters of the heart," my father says giving me pause. I do not understand what he means by that.

"Father, I think you are mistaken. Captain Kirk and I are not involved in anyway," I protest while ignoring Kirk's indignant scoff.

"Son, I think you are the only one mistaken here," my father chides before escaping to his chambers once more.

"Spock, why are you making things so difficult?" Kirk wearily asks while running a hand through his mess of blonde hair.

"You are the only one who is making things exceedingly difficult," I reply making him groan in annoyance.

"Why are you really so adamant about this?" Kirk questions while looking at me with a familiar determination. An unwavering gaze I first became acquainted with at the day of his hearing.

"Years ago I chose Starfleet. I deluded myself in thinking that it was because my Vulcan colleagues saw my mother as a disadvantage. Joining Starfleet took me off planet away from my bigoted peers, but also took me away from my mother. All that time I could have spent with her if I had not chosen to leave. Do you understand Jim? I refuse to make the same mistake twice," I explain while focusing on the wall behind him. I cannot face him because I know if I do then I will break down and seek his comforting embrace.

"Oh Spock," Kirk, no Jim, murmurs before pulling me into his arms. I feel stiff and awkward, but his embrace is warm and comforting. He does not overwhelm or pressure me, but waits for me to relax. "S'ti th'laktra," he whispers making my heart swell. Jim, my Jim, is full of surprises.

"Shaya tonat," I meekly reply before pulling away. "I did not know you spoke Vulcan," I comment hoping to distract him as I rebuild my shields. His emotions are so dynamic they easily tear down my weakened defenses.

"Yeah, I learned when I thought I was going to have a Vulcan first officer," Jim says and I almost give into the urge to sigh. This human is nothing if not determined. Although, even I cannot be unimpressed with his intellect. To learn Vulcan is not easy feat.

"Jim…Nahp, hif-bi tu throks," I request while aligning my fingers to his psi points. He hesitates for a moment before nodding.

I am use to my mind being organized so I am caught off guard when I face Jim's chaotic mind. It is utterly fascinating. His mind is never calm nor still. Always moving. Thoughts about everything racing around in a frenzy. Another thing I was not expecting was the brightness. It is overwhelming in the best possible way. His mind is much like the sun of Earth, and I am almost afraid of getting too close. Afraid that I will burn up in the heat of the passion behind every thought and action that makes up Jim. He must have sensed my hesitation because seconds later his mind enveloped me in a warm embrace. He accepted me in a way I never imagined I would be. Not with what I am. A hybrid. Unworthy.

_Beautiful. You are perfect Spock. My Spock._

I can feel his unbiased love for me caressing my mind in affectionate strokes. He thrusts his feelings at me no longer discouraged by his inability to express them in words. His love slams into me like earthen tidal wave. I am not deterred by the suddenness of his love. Vulcan courtship is not reliant on time like in humans, but rather mental compatibility. The way his mind blends seamlessly with mine is enough evidence that he is mine and I am his. I should have known this would be the case when we worked together in harmony despite never having done so before.

His love is bright and beautiful. It was through me comfortingly. Beneath the powerful sensation lies a tinge of fear and nervous energy. I focus on those sentiments and am drawn into past memories that planted his initial insecurity. He tries to hide them, but I gently surround him by my own love for him. He shies away from it at first, but I keep steady and continue lavishing him with affection.

_Ashayam, please do not hide from me._

Slowly he uncurls from himself and allows me to consume him with my affection. I see his darkest moments that he has hidden away from everyone else. He shows me how everyone he has ever trusted and loved left him. I feel anger at those people abandoning my Jim. How can they leave someone so precious?

_You are._

I pull out of the mind meld feeling an overwhelming guilt tear through me. I look away from him wondering why he is trying so hard to get me. I allow myself a sigh because I know the answer. He loves me as I love him.

"I'm scared too Spock," Jim mumbles while gently caressing my cheek to force me to look at him. "I don't understand how I can feel the way I do about you without actually knowing you. To me it's crazy, but my entire life I went off my gut instinct and it's telling me that you're it for me Spock," he quietly explains while looking deep into my eyes.

"Jim, ni'droi'ik nar-tor. I need time to mediate. Sanu," I request while pulling away from him completely. He looks like I physically stuck him, and the thought is unbearable.

"If that's what you want Spock," Jim mumbles before making his way to the door. Fear hits me when I wonder if he will ever return to my side.

"Jim!" I call out stopping him in his tracks. He looks over in surprise as I make my way over to him. "Taluhk nash-veh k'dular," I murmur before capturing his lips with mine.

He kisses back with his usual passionate fervor. His hands gripping the front of my robe pulling me closer as my hands take hold of his waist with inhuman strength. I have enough of my pitiable control left to not hurt him. His taste is addicting and powerful leaving me wanting more. This human evokes so many emotions in me, but never judged me for them. He has accepted me for who I am and not for what I am.

"Spock," he gasps out while pulling away. A low disgruntled growl rumbles from my chest at the loss of contact. "Wait, we can't—"

"Nam'uh ralash-fam," I order before reconnecting our lips. This is not the time for words.

My hands caress his face pulling him closer to me. The kiss is a desperate clash of teeth, but it is perfect. Jim is a flawed human, but to me he is perfect. His hands dive into my hair clutching tight as he brings me closer. Close is not close enough. I lead him to my bedroom knowing what I am going to do is for no one else's eyes.

"Meld with me," Jim pleads and who am I to deny him?

"Our mind together," I whisper before combining our minds once more.

The white hot pleasure surrounds us revealing our need for each other. His touch is like fire, but the burn feels so good. He moans and whines under my caress. I take and take, but he continues to give more. No one has ever given me so much of themselves before. Never have I wanted to consume and be consumed by someone like this. I can hear his heart racing, and feel his longing as if it is my own. Our desire clashes together trying to fight for dominance.

Outside the meld does not exist, but I have enough sense to lower him to my bed. I will claim him as he has claimed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
> S'ti th'laktra—I grieve with thee
> 
> Shaya tonat—Thank you
> 
> Nahp, hif-bi tu throks—Your thoughts, give them to me
> 
> Ashayam—Beloved
> 
> Ni'droi'ik nar-tor—I am sorry
> 
> Sanu—Sorry
> 
> Taluhk nash-veh k'dular—I cherish thee
> 
> Nam'uh ralash-fam—Be silent


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This will be the final part for this particular story! Hope you all enjoy it! Also, this one will be in 3rd POV.

**Disclaimer** : I own nothing…unfortunately

**_"I'd follow you across the universe."_ **

"Bones, buckle up!" Captain Kirk teases with a jovial pat on his friend and comrade's back. Bones just shakes his head wondering how he got himself talked into this. "Scotty, how are we doing?" Kirk asks to engineering.

"Dilithium chambers at maximum Captain," Scotty answers while admiring the new ship. That is when he notices the little pain in his backside Keesner high up on the machinery. "Get down!"

Kirk can't help a small smile from breaking through his serious façade. He has everyone with him. His dream is finally coming true. He has his captaincy, his ship, and his closest friends serving with him. Sure, they're the youngest in Starfleet history, but Kirk knows that history has a funny way of repeating itself.

"Mr. Sulu, prepare to engage thrusters," Kirk orders while lounging on his chair with cool authority. Seconds later the doors hiss open, and Kirk turns his head curiously. All the alpha bridge crew members are present for. Well, all except—

"Permission to come aboard Captain?" Spock requests with his hands clasped behind his back in an orderly fashion.

"Permission granted," Kirk says with a small smile. His Spock has finally come to his senses and agreed to serve with him.

"As you have yet to select a first officer, respectfully, I would like to submit my candidacy," Spock announces while heading over to his Jim. Jim quickly rises to meet him halfway. A habit they will both have to get into. Meeting each other halfway. "Should you desire I could provide character references," Spock continues when they are face to face. Although his face is blank Kirk can see the teasing twinkle in the chocolate eyes of his lover.

"It would be my honor," Kirk replies smoothly. Spock glances away momentarily to regain control of himself. His Jim is too much and yet not enough sometimes. Something Spock hopes he will never grow accustomed to. "Maneuvering thrusters Mr. Sulu," Kirk orders while making his way back to his seat.

"Thrusters on standby," Sulu announces after a laying in the right commands.

"Take us out," Kirk encourages while turning away from his lover's gaze. His focus belongs now on the ship with its crew. There will be plenty of time with his Spock later. Kirk will make sure of it.

"Aye aye Captain."

Kirk spares one more glance at the Vulcan now at the science station, and as if feeling familiar blue eyes on him Spock looks up to meet his gaze. Kirk smiles and there's an upward twitch of Spock's lips. Both sharing in this moment that is just for them. Everyone else on the bridge oblivious to the journey their two commanding officers faced to get here. What sacrifices had to be overcome and choices to be made. All their lives leading up to this moment. Not saving Earth or defeating Nero. Not even leading to the Enterprise and its journey through space. No, everything they have faced has lead them to each other. A kindred spirit.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second fanfic, please let me know what you all think!


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